The Lord has been speaking to me a lot about knowing and truly believingthat He is good. It is easy to know He is good when things are going well, but it is much harder to know deep down with total certainty that God is good when things are not going the way we think they should go. God wants us to stand in faith in Who He is, to believe His goodness and to know for with a certainly that rises up from our innermost being that He loves us and that He is dependable.There are times when the enemy tries to beat us down and to make usbelieve that God is mad at us, or that He is disappointed with us. The devil does that because he wants to prevent us from running back into God's presence, so we can be restored. Our enemy wants to sabotage our faith.
There are going to be times when we get empty and drained. We begin to minister and to function from our own limited resources instead of from God's vast resources. We continue doing our best to please God, but the emptier we get, the more we feel that God must either be mad at us or disgusted with us for allowing ourselves to get into this state. Then the enemy begins to play "mind games" with us to make us feel even worse about ourselves and our walk with God. He tries to tell us that God won't help us when we cry out to Him because He is so disappointed in us, and we have failed Him or let Him down. Eventually we find it difficult to believe that God wants to restore and refresh us.
We are not aware of it, but what is happening is that out faith in God's goodness is being systematically attacked and damaged.I went through that for a couple of months. The emptier I got, the harder it was to do the things that strengthen my spirit: to pray and read my bible every day. I felt guilty about my struggle to do those basic things and I began to feel so desperate for God that I arranged to go on a five-day prayer retreat at a mentor's house to seek God in hopes of being restored and refreshed.As I began to draw into God's presence, I realized that I was afraid of coming to Him.
My head "knew" I had to draw into God, but my heart feared that He would be angry with me or not want me to come to Him.Part of me was so hungry to be restored to intimacy with God that I was willing to meet His terms and conditions--whatever they were. But another part of me was afraid that God would not want to meet me.I set all else aside and started to press into Him, and His sweetness began to settle over me. I expected Him to rebuke me, and I kept waiting for that rebuke--but it never came. I expected Him to tell me that He was displeased with me, but all He did was love on Me and let me see glimpses of His glory.
Two days into the prayer retreat, I finally asked Him about it. I asked Him if He was angry or disappointed in me for letting myself get into that state. His reply surprised me."Teresa, it hurts My feelings that you think I would be like that. I am not hard to please for those who's hearts are committed to obey Me. I am a loving Father, and I love My children. When they get empty or drained, I don't get mad at them for it and I don't punish them for it. Instead, I fill them back up; I refresh and restore them, just like I am doing for you right now. When hope is drained and My children feel they have disqualified themselves, I don't disqualify them. I restore their hope and I remind them of their destiny, and then set them back into it. I don't rebuke My servants when they are weary, I revive them and I refresh them."
Then He want on to say, "When you are feeling empty or dry or when hope begins to fade away, I want you to exercise your faith. I want you to remind yourself of Who I am, of what I am like--remember what My true nature is. I am your loving Father and I am committed to take care of you. I want you to choose to believe in My goodness instead of choosing to believe the devil's lies about Me. Have faith in Me--not in your spiritual disciplines or in your ability to sense My nearness, or even in your ability to "please" Me. Know that I am love and I cannot stop loving you. Believe that I am good and choose to stand in faith when the enemy whispers his lies into your ears.""I have revealed Myself to you, and I don't change. So don't think of Me don't attribute pettiness to Me. Trust Me, I really am Who I have showed you that I am, and I am truly good. Yes, I have good plans for you and I will accomplish them in your life."
This word is submitted by Teresa Seputis [firstname.lastname@example.org] www.godspeak.net
26 februari 2007