I am a fish out of water spiritually
I looked at every fellowship within 15 minutes of where I live. I'm a big believer in the Local Church. The one I attend on Sunday Mornings is good but I'm a stranger in a strange land there. I am to my core Kingdom, Holy Spirit Driven, ALL the Gifts of the Spirit manifest, Worship that opens a portal to heaven, prophetic preaching and ministry that deals with the demons and oppressions there. There is not ONE place near where I live that is even close to what is supposed to be: I was told by the Lord there would be such a place, reaching the community. It should have manifested by now. I am NOT supposed to pastor it. I am called to carry out the role of Prophet in the house.
I'm spiritually homeless to the promise of God in my life. I do have a place in Chicago. I love the people and they love Prophet Gene. I'm just confused. I shouldn't have to drive 80 minutes to Church, no matter how wonderful it is. I saw this in as clear a vision as you can possibly imagine. I KNOW it's supposed to be here. I just can't imagine what holds it back. The church I pastored for a while is now 500 people under other leadership and with a different direction...but it's not that place the Lord showed me.
There are other fellowships that have been steady for years. Noble solid people...but not it. When you see it, when you smell it, when you know it is supposed to be...when you know it will reach a community horribly under-served by any authentic charismatic New Testament Church... I don't see it. I don't understand what holds back what is supposed to be the powerful move of the Holy Spirit in THIS community. HOW can this be? When Lord will God's people manifest as the sons of God in this place? I am all alone... I know there are 7000 but I don't know where they are. I don't want the next significant action that I am part of in my present fellowship to be my funeral. I am going to go out with my boots on ... somehow.
My vision has always been too large (not numbers, GLORY) for anyone to buy into. I have gone to people who have the potential to enter into what God has revealed. There is interest, but they want to do it with pulled punches. Dumb it down spiritually, lukewarm Christianity so as not to offend too many. I don't see Jesus doing that. IF a person is NOT willing to enter into the fullness of the vision it can never happen. I keep hoping to meet that Man who can do this. The one who I can help him see his destiny and greatness. The one who has never read any church growth books. The one who only wants to see GOD move in power in the community. I have not yet met that man. Had a few close calls....but not yet.
God made it clear I am NOT to plant and build. I must find that one who GOD has His hand on... and who WILL be equipped to do what God wants to accomplish. He will be called and be ready to do this. I know some men of God who are right.. but God has to reveal this to them. It will be a far greater task then anyone imagines. It will take real courage to step into this Realm of the supernatural with abandon. He is there somewhere. I do not believe it is a woman. In my vision, it was not. Sorry, not sexist, proclaiming. There is a place for a female senior leader. This task is something very different. The area I live in is a graveyard for Church Planters. We don't NEED another good church, we have plenty of those and there is plenty of seating in them any given Sunday. we need one the DEVIL HATES because it looks just like JESUS!